So like Bruce Willis or Sylvester Stallone the blog returns after a long hiatus with recycled plot-twists and overused quips....enjoy.

First and foremost I would like to wish you a very Happy New Year (both Western and Chinese) and give a big shout-out to my fellow rats (this is our year guys, wear red undies).

As you may or may not know the Lunar New Year was last week and I somewhat unwittingly found myself right in the middle if it, in Beijing. I say unwittingly because, as a break from the norm, Mr Harris booked our holiday and I payed very little heed to the dates. I also paid little heed to the style of holiday until after I'd handed over my hard-earned (well earned anyway) cash . You see last week I became the person I detest the most. I was a fully fledged, shameless, flag following tourist. That's right, I was on a tour. So after berating Richard continually for a fortnight for booking it and refusing to get up at 4:30 in the AM to "lose my soul to all of the indignities of following that cursed flag", I actually had a rather splendid time.

One of the best things about it was being able to see every culturally significant landmark in China in just three days, and usually before lunch. The day we flew out (a week last Wednesday) we were wandering around Tiananmen square at about 11 o'clock in the morning. The following day it was the turn of the great wall (of China) to be conquered before our afternoon repast. It came with a price though as we got dragged around in the bitterly freezing cold (too many adjectives?) and then unceremoniously lobbed back into the hotel for our standard two hours sleep. Alright so I may be exaggerating a little but you get the point now, don't you?

Lunch

Anywho...I feel I've digressed. Tiananmen square then. It's big, very big indeed, maybe even massive or gargantuan and it's filled with soldiers, Chinese people and flag-followers. In it is Chairman Mao's mausoleum and the famous gate with his picture on it. There was also a big ol' countdown clock for the Olympics. One thing I found particularly interesting was that when asked about the demonstration in 1989 our tour guide had a swift look around and then proceeded to say "this isn't really the place to talk about it".

Clock
Me and a gate

Richard and Mao's final home

Soldier folk

Big flag and Mao

Big square

Me and Mao


After the square we were taken to the temple of heaven. This was all very pretty but already by this time we were tired, cold and hungry. What I managed to gather was that the big-bods in times gone by used to pray for good harvests in it. The surrounding park area was actually more interesting as there were people swirling big ribbons, playing cards and generally just kicking back in the minus ten degree heat.

Mavis and her ribbon dance

Arty

Temple Le Heaven

Last on the agenda for the day was an acrobatics show. By this stage everybody was near mutiny as we hadn't yet been to the hotel and had all been awake since silly o'clock that morning. In spite of the grumblings it was nice to be somewhere warm and to watch what reminded me of a 1950s circus in England (I realise I can't be reminded of something for which I wasn't alive to experience, but it's my story, so hush). There were youngsters jumping around and through hoops and energetically shouting "Hey!" or "Ha!" or "Huzzah!" after every successfully completed pirouette. There was a woman with freakishly strong legs lifting up barrels, men and sometimes both with her lower extremities. A man eating swords, a man squeezing through hoops and women spinning plates while doing handstands.

Preposterous

Absurd

Outrageous

That night, if you hadn't already guessed, we were pooped. We thought we'd have a couple of beers and hit the sack, a good plan in theory. At about 11:30, after half an hours sleep, the fireworks which had been going off intermittently throughout the day went ape-*expletive deleted*. I don't even think the video we took fully does it justice, it was like nothing I've ever seen or heard. It was amazing because it continued at this insane level for more than an hour, and it was just people on the street setting them off.

Fireworks



So the next day was the great wall. It was very big and took a while to climb but it was definitely worth it. Especially because apparently now we're heroes. For why I don't know, but the Chinese think this is the case. I walked (like a hero) all the way to the top while Richard could barely breath so he hung-out on one of the turret-like structures.

Pretty

Pretty tired

Richard's new home

Steep

"Good luck" danglies

At the top, ah yeah

People

In the afternoon we went on a tour of a hutong. Hutong's are the old areas of Beijing with narrow roads, one-storey buildings and the faint smell of turnips. We got driven around these streets on a rickshaw by a happy chappy called Marvin who tried to smash us into telegraph poles and drive us through drains. He also managed to drop right to the back of the pack despite starting near the front, at one point another rickshaw dude was pushing us along. After the tour we went to visit a resident of one of these hutong homes. Her name was Mrs. Foo and she was exceptionally cool. She made us tea and talked about martial arts and then gave us a demonstration of her righteous Tai Chi moves.

Me, him and Marvin

Marvin in motion

Mrs. Foo. Tai Chi and herbal tea legend

The Foo-meister's courtyard (she has two)

Mrs. Foo's bike and front door



Well there was one more day but by this stage I feel like a writer of "Lost"; not only flogging, but sticking hot-pokers into a dead horse. So for now I'll leave you with some fugacious images and a couple of videos....

Me and the tour guide

A painting I almost accidentally bought, but didn't

Silly people

A trailer.....watch the movie (If you want to, I think you should, but I'mnot being pushy though, you're entitled to your free will, but you really must watch it)

A Hallowed night approaches and in a small corner of Asia small children will consume large amounts of cheap confectionery and try to scale the walls....of my classroom.
For whatever reason Koreans really, REALLY go in for Halloween. This leaves me and many of my fellow ex-pat brethren cursing whoever created this poor excuse for a "holiday". Last year I think I recounted my experience of having to spend many extra (and unpaid) hours at my school planning and carrying out an almighty Halloween bash.....only to then have small children complain that it was "boring" and "no fun" whilst hitting me in the crotch with plastic weapons. So as you can imagine I was in no rush at all to repeat this nightmarish ordeal again this year. It came as a nice relief, then, when I was told that my current school doesn't really go in for the big party on this God awful day.
Last Wednesday two of the Kindergarten teachers had to return (unexpectedly) to the States so I was called in to do some small-kiddie-herding. This involved 12 hour days, kids with better English than George W. Bush and dancing to Abba and Barbie Girl (them, not me). It was a tiring experience but overall pretty rewarding. At one stage I was having a full blown conversation with a 7 year old about the past participle....absolutely staggering levels of English. In one class we made those "tumbler" (I think they're called weebles in the States) things that don't fall over even when you push them. By the end of the class I had questions like (exactly like) "But teacher, what would happen if the center of gravity was in a different place?". This is obviously in stark contrast to my classes of mump-heads who continually try and spout my own question back at me; Me, "What colour is it?", them, "What colour is it red", me "well done, genius". My favorite part of the whole experience had to be the singing/dancing time. This basically involves a shed load of wee-nipper tunes that they sing and dance about to for a while. Thrown into the mix they also try and sing some pop songs in English. The best by far was definitely a rendition of "Barbie Girl" in which there were solos and a six year old boy doing a frantic-robot-arms-out-stretched-full-body-vibrate, actually kind of scary yet extremely amusing.
So anyway as much fun as it was I'm in no rush to work for 12 hours a day again anytime soon!
This weekend there was a partaaaay at Mr. Harris' new gaff. And very pleasant it was too. He's managed to wrangle himself-up a good group of friends through his Seoul Ministry of Education (or SMOE as all the "cool" people call it) training week he went on. Anyways on Saturday him and his US army landlord Chris threw a Hawaiian style Lei party which was great fun and then some. I kind of want to have a housewarming party at my place but I don't think 20 people will fit into my one room, at least not comfortably.....
For pictures this time I'll provide you with a random mix of photos recently (expertly) swiped from Richard and his big fancy camera......

Random SMOErs enjoying cocktails and Hula at the Lei shin-dig.
Sunset over Seoul on the Hawaiian party day.
Ris' landlord/roommate Chris, the army bod.
Me and a fella called Jeff, nice chap.
An evening yonks ago in "the wine bar".
Not my picture (so don't sue me Harris) but I thought it was really cool. Taken at a Korean/US airshow.
A pagoda in a park.
Sunset in "Yongsan", a big shopping area of Seoul.
Big fish. In water. With little fish there too. I just thought it was a good picture.
Big Flag. The Parade ground makes it look a little communist dontcha think?

안녕하세요? 어떻게 지내세요? That means "Hellooo there, how's tricks?".
So here we are again, very nearly one month into a second stint in the Peoples Republic of Korea. I'm sat in my 'office-tel' apartment, drinking tea, wearing a Kimono and enjoying the furor of the 'Gwangmyeong Music Festival 2007' currently taking place outside my window. Just thought you'd enjoy that visual.
So then my first month. It's been grand so far to be honest. Full of work, play and a distinct lack of drunken Irish roommates (I'm yet to decide if that leans on the good or bad). Certainly it's been quieter during the working week so far. Evenings have been spent reading, studying and exercising. In stark contrast to a life of beer and playstation filled nights last time around.
My new school seems splendid so far as well. It's called SLP and it's a wee bit bigger than the last one. The atmosphere is an entire shed load better, mainly thanks to the absence of inept Supervisors and psychotic Vice-principles. I teach for about four hours a day which, again, is quite disparate to my last experience. The only issue I have is that the school itself is on the second floor of a building but most of my lessons are in a converted apartment on the sixth floor. Two classrooms and a toilet means that during classes when I'm supposedly not Mr. Teacher Man I've got nowhere to go to get away from the little plebes. But already I find even the most moronic of my students terribly endearing. I spent one lesson teaching "Is he running?", "Is she eating?" etc...40minutes on this one grammar point. So I went around the classroom eliciting "No, he isn't", "Yes, she is", not too tricky you might think. One boy would disagree. I show him a picture of a man running, "Is he drawing?" I ask. "Yes, he is" is the reply. Okay I thought, not the right answer but at least it's grammatically correct. "Drawing???? Really??" in a high-pitched mock tone (it'll usually get a laugh if nothing else). "Ahhh!" says this young man as I think the penny drops, "She runnings!" with the conviction of a deranged demagogue. The class erupts at the poor dunce and from this point he's embarrassed and flailing "She...no...he...running...is...". There's no coming back from this my little amigo. I'm sorry I put you in this situation. Being ridiculed by your peers for speaking some bad English...it's just not a good way to go. I was just about to wrap up the lesson as he stands up (in what seemed to me slow-motion, with some inspirational score playing in the background) and very nearly screams "NO....HE.....ISN'T!!!!". I give a victorious, and rousing "Yeah!" and the rest of the class congratulates him with silence. That little man left looking entirely chuffed with himself and I'm sure it's a story he'll tell his kids (probably in English). That's what it's all about, three words of English in the right order. I've got a million stories just like that but I believe you to have been regaled sufficiently for now.
I feel my story about the 'simpleton that succeeded' means that my tales of the East Coast and Japan will have to be decidedly short. So here it is: I went on holiday to the East Coast of Korea with Richard. We went up a mountain and sat on a beach, it were reet good. The pictures will tell the rest of the tale....
I also went to Japan to get my Korean Visa. I wandered around in nigh-on 40degree heat, met some guys at the Korean consulate and stole a Kimono (see earlier for more on this). It was just one night and the pictures ain't great because I only had a disposable camera with me but it was a nice little diversion.
So I'm thinking once a month will be sufficient for this bloggy thing, I'm not that interesting after all. So see you this time next month (maybe I'll tell you a story about a girl mis-pronouncing "cheese", but maybe not, wait and see).


My very short sojourn to Fukuoka, Japan.....

Fukuoka beach in Japan, quite nice really.

A lantern hanging outside the Noodle place by the river where we ate.

The Korean embassy in Fukuoka, many a happy hour spent here.





And my holiday to the East Coast of Korea with Richard during Korean thanksgiving (추석). Seokcho and Mount Seorak.....

The cable car up to 서락산 (Mount Seorak).

"Brabo" indeed. An outstanding understanding of written English.

Atop the tower in Seokcho, the city on the East Coast.

Atop Mount Seorak.

Cwazy Koreans doing some scrambling without ropes.

A big, huge, mega Buddha.

See Mom I'm drinking water on the beach.

Is the Sea of Japan perhaps a tad cold Mr. Harris?

Squid drying for later consumption by Koreans who think it's the best snack food ever.

Fishy restaurant, we didn't partake.